Connecting Guns and Women

This guest post was contributed by Tammy, an I.T. professional and writer from California. Tammy’s been shooting for less than a year and is already loving it so much she’s begun competing at her local IDPA matches. She blogs about firearms, self-defense and personal safety for women at Mom With a Gun.  I asked to Tammy to help me with this subject because I’m still having trouble getting my own wife into the shooting world. 

It’s happened – she’s decided she wants to go to the range for the first time. She might be your wife, girlfriend, daughter, sister, or another relative or friend. The trip might be her idea, or she might accept an invitation you’ve extended. However it comes about, there’s a lot riding on the trip. Make it a success, and you’ve brought another woman into the shooting community. Fail, and you may turn her off guns and shooting for years.

The friends who made my first trip to the range a wonderful experience had an easy task. I’d already been interested in shooting for some time. I’d already learned as much as I could on my own, and I was excited to go.

Often, though, women are reluctant to give shooting a try. Too often, we’re socialized from a young age that safety comes from avoiding danger and, when that isn’t possible, relying on husbands, boyfriends, fathers and brothers, and the police to “save” us. We’re given the unspoken message that taking responsibility for our own safety is “unladylike”, even wrong. In seeking to give a woman the gift of this ability to protect herself, you might well be going up against a lifetime of cultural conditioning.

So, how can you make a woman’s first trip to the range a success? Here are some ways to make sure it is.

Before you go to the range:

• Remember that women learn differently than men. Most women aren’t as comfortable with “just figuring things out” as men are, and learn best when someone shows them how to do things. So, before you go to the range, go over the safety rules briefly. Unload the gun, explain how the pieces operate, and let her do some dry-fire practice. Don’t drown her in detail, but make sure she’s comfortable with how the gun works.
• Don’t make the mistake of assuming a semiautomatic pistol is “too hard for a girl”, or that “she’s not strong enough to rack the slide.” Let’s get that bit of silliness out of the way here: racking the slide is about technique, not strength, and with the right technique my 4-foot-10-inch, 105-pound daughter can rack the slide on any gun you give her. Kathy Jackson’s excellent Web site Cornered Cat has an article about the proper technique. Review it, and then teach it to her.
• Pick a sensible gun. I suggest something in 9mm that’s not too big for her hands and that she can operate comfortably. The first pistol I ever fired was a Colt M1911 National Match .45. It was a great experience, and I had a blast, but I wouldn’t recommend this as a first gun for most people, because it was definitely too big for my hands. Conversely, don’t pick a tiny .25 or .380 auto – they’re harder to operate because of their size, kick more, and are neither much fun to shoot nor as useful for self-defense.  Something like a Glock or M&P in 9mm is probably a great choice.
• Teach her the basics of stance, grip, sights, and trigger control before you get to the range. Apparently some men think it’s funny to load up their .50 caliber Desert Eagle or .44 magnum, hand it to their girlfriend with no training, and then film her shooting (from an off-balance stance) and falling on her butt. I know – I’ve seen these videos on YouTube. This is an excellent way to make her hate guns forever. If you care about her feelings, and you care about helping her learn to enjoy shooting as much as you do, leave the macho posturing at home.

At the range:

• Leave your attitude and your ego at home. If you’re taking a new shooter, male or female, to the range, your first job to ensure that she’s safe. Your second job is to ensure that she has a good time. If you get to do some shooting too, so much the better, but your primary job is to help her have a good time, experience a successful first range day, and stay safe. Leave anything that gets in the way of that at home.
• Do a brief safety recap. Point out where the safe backstop is, where it’s unsafe to point the gun. Explain the range rules if need be. I also like to tell new shooters something like this: “While you’re shooting, my job will be to make sure you and everyone else are safe. So, if see something happening that’s unsafe, I will touch you on the shoulder and say STOP!” Usually, especially from women, a worried look will follow this. Then I’ll say: “When I say STOP, it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong, just that I’m watching out for safety. If I say STOP, I need you to take your finger off the trigger and freeze, right where you are. Then I’ll tell you what’s wrong, and what we need to do to make it safe.”
• Let her do some dry-fire practice with the actual gun and target. Let her practice unloading and loading (with an empty magazine) if she wants to. Tell her, “I want you to be really comfortable with how the gun works, so take as much time as you need and let me know when you’re ready to start shooting.” Then, give her that time. Answer questions if she has any, but don’t be pushy here. The goal is for her to feel comfortable and confident that this is something she can do.
• Start with one round in the gun. When she’s ready to start shooting, load up ONE round in the gun. New shooters often instinctively turn around when that gun goes off, and this will prevent the muzzle from going someplace unsafe while the gun is still loaded. Also, many female shooters find their first shot a very emotional experience — tears are not unusual — and you want to make sure she’s safe throughout. Help her get her stance, grip and aim on-target, but let her do as much as she can by herself. You want to encourage her to experience the feeling of being competent with the gun. Let her load and shoot one round at a time, under your supervision, for at least 10 rounds before loading more ammo in the magazine.
• Keep her safe, but gently. It’s okay to nag her about keeping her finger off the trigger until she’s ready to shoot, but do it safety and in a way that doesn’t come across as critical.
• Set her up for success. Use a big, visible target set in close for her first range trip. There’s time to learn marksmanship later, but for the first time, you want her to experience success and competence. I like the Shoot N C targets, which give a nice visible hit, at no more than 5 yards. If you have access to an outdoor range and can set up reactive targets, gallon jugs full of water (at a similar distance) are a good choice too. Getting 20/20 on the paper on a big target at close range is way more motivating, and does much more to bolster her confidence than does a bullseye and 19 misses at a longer distance.

After the range trip:

• Help her commemorate the occasion. I like to take the first target, sign it as a witness, and let the new shooter take it home as a souvenir.
• Do something to celebrate. Take her out to lunch. Go on a shopping trip. If she had fun and wants to shoot again, you could even take her to the gun store and help her pick out (not pick out for her) her first gun. Remember, your main goal for the first range trip is to make it a happy, fun, positive, safe experience.
• Sign her up for a Women on Target class. These classes, offered nationwide by the NRA, will give her a chance to learn proper marksmanship, and to connect with other female shooters.
• Set a date to take her to the range again. Pick a specific date, rather than making it an open-ended offer. Knowing when she gets to go will help keep her excitement and motivation up.

If you make her first trip to the range a fun, confidence-building and safe experience, you’ll help her want to shoot again. And, at the end of the day, that’s what it’s all about.