We all ask questions everyday of the year. Most questions are not the questions we want answers to. We are afraid to ask the questions that are really on our mind. Questions like, “Are you a child molester? Are you going to kill me? Have you ever killed anyone?” When we do ask these questions, we really don’t want the answer.
After I returned from Iraq the first time, I went back to work for the armored car company. It was a blast being back. About 3 months back into work, someone was amazed that I was carrying a gun, I found lots of people like that in California. They didn’t want to know that they lived in a place with evil. She asked me why I carry a gun. I told her to protect others and myself. Then she asked the question that she wanted to know but didn’t want to know, “Have you ever killed anyone?” I told her yes and she sank away visibly. I told her that I was a Marine months earlier in Iraq and part of the invasion. She was a little less afraid, but she didn’t want the answer to that question.
We are all like that. We ask questions that we really don’t want the answer to and leave the ones we want to know unasked. For example, when we let a contractor into our house to do some work, what do you want to know? I want to know if he is going to hurt any of my family or steal any of my stuff. So I ask straight out, “Are you going to steal anything?” and then look for the person’s reaction. Most are appalled and that is the reaction I’m looking for. If they ask a question like “What do you consider stealing?” or something, I get worried.
The same thing goes for when I leave my kid with someone. I’ll ask them, “have you ever molested a child? Or have you ever hurt a child?” I’m looking for the same reaction as before. If I get a question in return, like “what do you mean?” I’m not leaving my kid with that person.
Here is another simple investigation tip. People that are lying never want to go backwards in time. They always want to go forward. So if you want to know if someone is lying, check the back story. Start asking them questions about the story they just told you. You will get one of two reactions; either they will give a vague recap and probably stop half way through and get angry that you don’t believe them, or you will get way too many details. Either way it’s probably a lie.
Remember that just because you called the repair guy to fix the sink doesn’t mean you have to let him in if you think something bad may happen. Listen to your intuition, if you think that person is dangerous, believe your instincts and call someone else.
Stay Safe,
Ben