I joined the Marine Corps because I wanted to be a cop. I wanted to be a cop so I could help people. Being a cop didn’t work out for me, but I still enjoy and want to help people. Now that I’ve been studying self defense I’ve noticed two things about helping people.
First I need to make sure I’m safe. When I first came out of boot camp, I was convinced I was invincible and would have helped anyone at any risk to myself. Not anymore, and I suggest that you learn from my ignorance. If you want to help someone you need to make sure you are not in danger if you do so.
The second thing I’ve learned, and now teach others, is not to take help from strangers, especially big males (like me). So helping others is getting harder. But some times we all need help. So how to offer?
I drive a truck for an oil company right now and end up anywhere and everywhere in Texas. Last week I was at a gas station getting fuel and using the facilities. There was a lady with the hood of her car open the entire time I was there. So before I left I wanted to make sure she wasn’t stranded.
So I offered some help, she declined. The important part is how I asked. First (see above), make use I was safe. Distance is always a friend of safety. So I was at an extended distance, about 10 yards (30 feet), and put a physical barrier between her and I. This was also to help her feel safe. I also gave her an out because I was standing in the doorway going into the store. It was on purpose so she could say no, if she wanted. It also gave me a place to go if something went wrong or just got uncomfortably silent (no one wants to feel dumb).
So here is my super simple guide to offering people help. First and foremost, make sure you are safe. Use distance and large physical objects. Second, make that person at ease and let them have an out. Last, let that person decide whether or not they need help. If they say no, except it, and leave.
Stay Safe,
Ben